Friday Funny. Monday - Thursday, not so much.

It's been one of those weeks.

Monday I woke up with a mild stomach ache. By 10:00 I was doubled over in the hallway at school trying to tough it out. By 10:30, 5 kids were in the office lined up to go home after puking their guts out. I was "advised" I should go home too. I came home, took some medicine and spent the rest of the day in and out of consciousness.

Tuesday I felt better and headed back to work. This was the only day of the week I was really looking forward to. 3 of my 5 computer classes would be gone on field trips and special assemblies so I was to have lots of time to work on the dreaded curriculum guide. Of course, by the time I got to school it was snowing. Big fat, slushy, snowing. And all those field trips were canceled. So, not only can I add "snowstorm" to my car-line duty repertoire but I found myself with a day full of classes and NO LESSON PLANS. All kinds of awesome.

Wednesday I was in charge of the 3rd grade Valentine Party. Of course, one parent who signed up to bring food didn't show so I found myself 10 minutes before party time making popcorn in the faculty lounge. This was also a half-day of school for the kids which might sound like a positive thing until you hear those two little words every teacher fears: Faculty Inservice. The remainder of the day I was sitting alone in our library with a years worth of lesson plans and the Tennessee State Standards for Technology staring me down. I might as well have been trying to translate The Spanish Inquisition or Lady Gaga lyrics.

Thursday was the day that The Great Head Cold of 2010 reared it's ugly head. Not only did I have to spend an entire day in accreditation meetings reading Appendix H and looking at a Physics Curriculum guide meant to be a model for my own (Physics? Really? Why not Aerospace Engineering? ) but I had to do it with sinus pressure so severe it felt like somebody threw a brick at my face.

So, Friday is FINALLY here and I only have one more day of Inservice to survive before I get a precious 3 day weekend to recover. God bless Tylenol Sinus and Blonde Jokes. They are what shall see me through.

So now, the weeks installment of The Friday Funny:
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

The Friday Funny

Today marks the beginning of what I hope will become a weekly feature here. I don't know about you, but by Friday I could use a good laugh. And what kind of laugh is better than one at someone else's expense? Don't judge me. You know you love it too.

Last week I received an email that prompted this whole idea. It was a blond joke and it was sent to me, as you might guess, because of my very blond daughter. I might also mention the sender was none other than my very blond mother-in-law.

I realize the subject matter might be offensive to some. And to you I say....get over it. Lighten up. (I've never pretended to have the gift of mercy. I'm not going to start now.)

So, each week you can expect to see a photo of her:

And a joke in tribute to her. Here is today's installment (Thanks RubyDooby!):

This blond decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
blond jokes and how all blonds are perceived as stupid. So, she
decides to show her husband that blonds really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint
a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband
leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the
floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka
and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she
is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that
she wanted to prove to him that not all blond women are dumb, and she
wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She
replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it
said....

"For best results put on two coats."