Finding Church

I woke up on the first day of the New Year earlier than anticipated. Considering we weren’t home until around 1:00 am, I fully expected to get up in time for lunch. But there I was, awake at 6:30. Plenty of time to make it to one of the 2 services our church was offering. Trouble was the other 2 people in the house weren’t as eager. In fact one of them was still in the bed at 9:00. I considered going alone but didn’t want to answer the “where’s the family?” questions so I decided instead to retreat to the bedroom for a little personal Bible study and kick-off the year with a renewed dedication to a daily quiet time.

I wasn’t sure where to start and since I tend to cling to what’s easy for me (the New Testament or Psalms) I turned over a new leaf and deliberately went against it. I landed in the 1st chapter of Joshua.

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:8-9

Good word for a fresh start. I certainly want to be prosperous & successful and I need more courage. And I definitely need to meditate more on God’s word. I knew God was starting a conversation that I needed to be a part of.

Next stop, trusty Psalm 1. I read it every year on the Jan 1st.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:1-3

All of a sudden it occurred to me that Jesus might just have intended or us to have a little one-on-one church this morning and I was listening to a sermon prepared especially for me. The first point of His message was clear. I need to become more deliberate at meditating on God’s word.

Then I went to Proverbs 1. I’ve read it a million times but today a small part jumped out and smacked me in the face:

Then I will pour out my thoughts to you, I will make known to you my teachings. (verse 23)

Now, just like any good sermon there came the point of conviction. I’ve been spending time in God’s word over the past year. I’ve been praying and I’ve been seeking Him. Not always as diligently as I should have but I’ve definitely increased in my faithfulness over that past few years. Obviously, though, He’s requiring more of me. He’s got things to do with me and I need to stop reading and start meditating. And if I do, He promises to pour out His thoughts on me? I think I’ll take Him up on it.

Last stop was my Jesus Calling devotion and just like any great sermon, He decided to end with a bang. Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

And my all time favorite verse, Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And so the sermon is over and I am speechless. I truly feel like I’ve been sitting at the feet of Jesus as He’s given me my challenge for this new beginning, this New Year. And so I pray. And when I finished I feel compelled to get out. The sun was out and it was unseasonably warm so I decide to talk a walk. I grabbed my iPod and headed to a nearby park.

Now, I am of the opinion that praise & worship always comes before the sermon but for today’s service Jesus has asked me to lay aside my legalism and go with it. As the music shuffles and I begin walking the track I find myself being ushered into His presence by some of the greatest worship leaders imaginable.

Christy Nockles
“A mighty fortress is our God. A sacred refuge is your name. Your kingdom is unshakeable. With you forever we will reign”

Travis Cottrell
“Hallelujah, everlasting songs will rise for all you’ve done. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Thanks be to our God”

Kari Jobe
“I know that you are for me. I know that you are for me. I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness and I know that you have come down, even if to write upon my heart. To remind me who you are”

And as I’m walking and listening and singing along, the strongest wind begins to blow. It’s cold and it’s heavy. And I’m reminded:

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”John 3:8

I know He’s telling me that just like the wind which feels as though it’s pushing me, about to blow me over, He is right there. He is invisible. He is mysterious. He is strong. He is real. And I am in His presence. I’m singing. I’m crying. I’m worshipping.

Then, all of a sudden in the midst of that holy moment, my mind turns to those in my small circle who are suffering. Some are battling the demons of depression. Some are watching their loved ones being attacked viciously by cancer. Some are watching their families fall apart. Then I think of the families completely broken by the tragic car accident in our community just days ago. A mother lost her daughter. A family lost their husband and father. And just as quickly as I was consumed by the joy of His presence I’m consumed by the unanswerable question, why?

And in that moment my iPod shuffles again and Matthew West is there to end today’s service.

Maybe the reason for the pain is so we would pray for strength. And maybe the reason for the strength is so that we would not lose hope. And maybe the reason for all hope is so that we could face the world. And the reason for the world is to make us long for home

Amen.

Just an hour before I was feeling guilty for not being at church. Then I learned my first lesson of the New Year. God can bring church to me when I allow Him to. I don’t intend to give up my congregation but I will forever be grateful for my first church service of 2012. And I will never, ever forget it.