Manipulate. Humiliate. Whatever it takes.

I will look back on this weekend with a sense of accomplishment. And not just because I completed the annual 3 mile trek around Vanderbilt with Abigail's Angels for the AHA.


It was a fun time with my Peeps and I was especially proud of The Ocho who set a personal fundraising goal of $200 and met it. She took my advice and started with the easy targets first; the grandparents. Then she moved to Uncle C. But the true test came when I challenged her to solicit some teachers at school. I suggested she go to the ones that she was confident really, really liked her, so she did. And she hit the jackpot.

But the Heart Walk isn't where my accomplishment was found. Nope. Mine was found in realizing the capacity I have to manipulate and, if necessary, humiliate people into doing exactly what I want them to do. All with the written word.

It started with one small, simple plan for getting The Ocho to finish her book report on Abigail Adams before the Oct. 7th deadline without all the frustration and tears that usually accompany such a project. So, as I was making out our dry-erase monthly calendar which is displayed on our fridge I simply wrote down a due date of October 4th. And boy, you should have seen her get to work on Saturday afternoon! She was writing and erasing and rewriting and revising and sweating and writing some more like nobody's business. Then, once it was complete, I erased the due date and moved it to October 7th.

Sure, she rolled her eyes, let out a heavy sigh and said "What???? You said it was due on Monday??!?!?!?" Yes I did. But had I left the due date on Thursday all the sweating and erasing and rewriting would have been done during the 30 minutes of free time we have on Wednesday afternoon between school and church. And oh how the tears would have flowed. I've got no time for that. So I did a little dry-erase manipulation. And it worked like a charm.

Once I unearthed this power, I decided to unleash it on Handiman with my little blog post about his failure to repair my garbage disposal in a timely fashion. And would you believe that by 8:00 pm on Sunday night I had a new one?

Of course, Murphy's Law of Home Ownership took effect this morning at 6:00 am when we discovered that our refrigerator was defrosting everything in our freezer and the ice maker was leaking water onto our floor. I am, however, pleased to announce that my husband dispatched a repairman by 9:30 to fix it. Perhaps it was out of love and a sense of husband-like duty. But I tend to think he was anticipating today's blog entry "When husbands choose watching football over providing well-chilled food for their family".

But the real stroke of genius came when I snapped a simple photograph at The Heart Walk. I sweetly suggested to my friend Robyn that I take a pic of her family since they're usually so busy that day they never get one. She thanked me profusely and they all smiled for their beautiful family portrait.

Little did she know I was formulating an evil plan.

You see, waaaaaayyyyyyy back in January The Fruit Bowl gave Robyn a 40th B'day party and Robyn brought her fancy camera to the event. She snapped picture after picture of us. There were pics at dinner. Pics of all us girls in our fancy outfits. Pics of our husbands in their suits and ties. Pics of our song and dance routine.

I was really excited about them and even went out and bought a new frame for one of them to display in my newly redecorated Great Room. So after months and months and months of begging and pleading with her to send me the pictures.......nothin'. Big. Fat. Nothin'.

So, I figured I'd hold my little family portrait as ransom in exchange for the birthday party pics.

And look what I found in my email Saturday afternoon.


(I think she was assuming that if she waited 9 months to send them to me I wouldn't blog about it. She should know better than that. Tune in tomorrow.)

Now, I should go on record as saying that while I threatened to hold the Ellis family pic hostage I didn't actually do it. I sent it to her before she ever sent me her pictures. The lesson here is that even idle threats work sometimes.

I know the power I have is great and I fully intend to use if for good instead of evil and only when necessary. Which around here will probably be every hour on the hour.