Frist Impressions

There are plenty of things in the world that I hold no hope of doing. Like learning to speak Japanese. Or attending Will & Kate's wedding. Or organizing my Ziploc container cabinet.

And until a month ago, it never even entered my mind that I might one day stand in an art museum gazing at original works by Monet, Renoir, Degas or Manet.

Never. Ever. In a million years. Ever.

But it happened.

Now, don't go thinkin' I'm some high-falootin' art connoisseur. Not even close. But I'm pretty well educated and I can tell the difference between a Monet & a Thomas Kinkade. I've seen pictures in textbooks, watched documentaries on TV, heard celebrities talk about their visits to Paris to view these paintings and I've even owned a knock-off print that I'm sure I bought someplace classy like the Nashville Flea Market.

When I heard through my friend Karen (who happens to be our art teacher and very well versed on such things) that The Frist Center had an exhibit of Impressionist art usually only displayed at the Museum d'Orsay in Paris I didn't immediately believe her. Then a friend told me that she actually knew of a family from our area that saved for a long time to take a trip to Paris last year and view this very exhibit. They weren't so thrilled it was here now.

I knew then and there I had to see it for myself.

And not only are all the major Impressionists represented but also on display is "Whistler's Mother".

Crazy Talk.

So on Friday Handiman, The Ocho & I set out on our final adventure of 2010. I'll have to admit that LO wasn't all that impressed. Of course, she doesn't have an understanding just yet of how influential these works have been or how ridiculously famous the names on the wall are. All she knew was there were lots of paintings of naked women. And it made her a tad uncomfortable.

But I was mesmerized. Not just by the beauty of the work itself, although it was breathtaking. But I was standing a foot away from Claude Monet's actual signature! And when we walked into the gallery where "Whistler's Mother" is on display I couldn't get over it. It's so iconic. So familiar. And it was RIGHT THERE! And it's much larger in person that you might imagine.

I'm pretty sure I walked out of The Frist a little classier than when I went in. It only stands to reason.

But before you go thinkin' The Woods have gone all hoity toity on you, think again. Before we took in the classic art, we had lunch at a classic restaurant in Nashville.

That's right, Elliston Place Soda Shop. It was my first time to eat there. It was a little run down inside and perhaps a little less clean than I would have liked. But I can say I've been there now. And the hot fudge sundae was delicious.

Since you're not allowed to take pics inside the exhibit I thought I'd post pics I found online of some of the pieces we saw. This way I won't forget and you'll be oh so impressed with how cultured I am.

Manet: On the beach

Degas: Rehearsal of a Ballet on Stage

Monet: Regatta at Argenteuil

Whistler: Whistler's Mother

The exhibit runs through January 23rd. If you're in the area you should definitely check it out. Then you'll be as classy as me.

Dancin' the night away

Last night we rang in the New Year the way we always do.

We all gathered at the Ellis house with our usual spread of health food selections: Lemon blossoms, fudge brownies, peanut butter cookies, cocktail wieners wrapped in bacon, buffalo chicken dip, spinach dip, cheese pizza, etc. (I think it speaks of our hostesses great love for us that she allows her vegetarian/health food kitchen to be defiled in such a manner every year.)

Almost all my Peeps were there with their dozens upon hundreds of children. But there was a welcome addition since The Witts are now back in town. They used to party with us every year until they were called away to East TN. It was great to have them back to entertain us.

You see, Nikki W. is kinda like our own personal Erma Bombeck. She can teach valuable life lessons all the while making you laugh until Fanta shoots out of your nose.

Some of the wisdom gleaned from last night's conversation included:

When asthmatics turn blue, don't call a prayer meeting right away. Chances are, it's just the brand new sheets.

Pacemakers don't chirp.

Steve Witt has brought many teenagers to the Lord using dog shock collars and exploding tennis balls.

You just can't buy that kind of wisdom folks. To get that, you gotta be friends with Nikki Witt.

Speaking of Nikki, she took part in what turned out to be the entertainment hit of the night. Last week I bought the Wii game "Just Dance" with a gift card I received over Christmas. I took it to the party in hopes of seeing Big Nanny try it out. What I could not have anticipated was how it would completely take over the party.

First, Cole, Big Nanny & Nikki all took a turn shakin' it:


Then Tracey, Big Nanny & Cole worked it out:

After that it was just Big Nanny & Cole for a while in an epic dance showdown for the ages. But once their aged bodies couldn't take it anymore and they became winded they handed the remotes over the children.

And that was the end of that.

Most of the kids took a few turns but once Jesse J. got his hands on the controller all bets were off. He danced for a solid 2 hours and began handily defeating his competition. In case you're not aware, Jesse is 6. And he took great pride in the destruction of every competitor, even our reigning champion Cole (who is semi-professional since, ya know, she danced in the Super Bowl) That defeat must have been humbling for her.

His two dances of choice were "Eye of the Tiger" and "Who Let the Dogs Out". For a solid two hours. This is all we heard. "Whoooo! Whooo! Whooo! Whooo!!!!" It's still ringing in my ears.

I'm thinking of contacting the makers of this game today and asking for a residual of some sort since I know for a fact that at least 5 of the families in attendance last night planned to go out and purchase it today if for no other reason than it will keep their kids occupied for HOURS on end.

While the kids took over the dance floor, most of the adults retired to the dining room. There were simultaneous games of Bananagrams & Rook going on. We're a rowdy bunch.

Some of us just hung out in the kitchen nibbling on snacks and plotting practical jokes for the new year.

When the clock finally struck midnight we did what we always do. We rushed to the living room, counted down the last 10 seconds, kissed our spouses and starting packing up to leave. Cause we're wild like that.

I love this tradition and can't imagine starting my year out any other way. I will say that I preferred the days when all the kids were little and stayed upstairs with an appointed teenage babysitter. Now they're older and come downstairs to eat our food, take over our dance routines and generally bust our groove. Next year, I say they get their own party.

The Best of 2010

I've spent the morning reviewing my blog over the past year. That didn't take long.

So, my first resolution for the New Year is to be a better blogger. It shouldn't be too hard to improve on pathetic.

Although I didn't document all that I should have, I documented enough to know that 2010 has shown me a pretty good time. It's also been a year of extremes.

We had the snowiest winter I can remember followed by one of the hottest summers on record. We also had rain and lots of it. We watched the flood waters rise and destroy so much of what makes Nashville unique and wonderful. Then we watched the community rise up and show the world we don't need their media coverage or their help. We'll do it ourselves. And that, it turns out, is really what makes Nashville unique and wonderful.

My circle of friends went to extremes this year too. One took a big step out of her comfort zone and started the year in Africa ministering to orphans. That trip spawned a revolution within our church with more groups going, a ministry forming, a family moving and another on of my friends adopting not one but two boys who've made a trash dump in Ethiopia their home. Other friends have moved through extreme heartache, extreme disappointment, extreme anxiousness and extreme depression. But they've come out on the other side extremely hopeful. And I'm extremely grateful to have walked the road alongside them.

As for my family, we've been extremely blessed. We've gone sledding, built a fence, camped in the back yard, hosted a hotel slumber party and taken 2 family vacations. We've been employed, paid our bills, stayed healthy, laughed loudly and loved greatly. In times such as these, that's just a God thing.

When I remember 2010 I'll think of things like playing in the snow and having my first sledding injury, wading through the flood waters, ripping insulation from the church walls along hundreds of volunteers, including many who didn't even attend our church. I'll remember hiking to Laurel Falls, horseback riding at Walden Creek and riding Thunderhead at Dollywood. I'll think of vacationing in Ft. Walton despite the Oil Spill, Big Kahuna's and crab hunting. I'll remember Chihuly at Cheekwood and Secret Keeper Girls. I'll remember the lights of the restored Opryland Hotel, the Rockettes and the living nativity and the Spring Hill Festivus Pole.

I'll think of the thrift store prosthesis, the playground ukulele, the Hot Dog sign, The Adventures of Flat Nanny, The Big Bible of Mt. Pleasant, the berm known as "Ocho Island" and Molly's great escape and blindfolded makeovers.

I'll think of 8 dancing Robyns and a bow-making competition, an ice cream sundae party, the Amazima dinner with Katie, Tracey's hip hop hoedown, laser tag with Price & the gang, Dave's Christmas teddy bear, Jason's jingle in the trunk & Big Nanny's gingerbread man face. And the return of Creepy One-Armed Dolly. (Hmmmm, I wonder whatever happened to her?)

I'll remember 4th grade Sunday school, reading Radical, Deeper Still, Jesus Calling, Alli's healing, a picture of Mary and a rainbow in Africa, just for me.

And as for my daughter, I'll remember defacing Hannah Montana, Cross Camp, The Lawrenceburg nativity scene, the great bike crash, The Wizard of Oz room, The Talk - Part 1, 4th grade homework, the Suite Life Birthday extravaganza, a broken heart on a piece of notebook paper, her first recorder performance, The Silly Party with Looc & E-Dud and pierced ears.

So long 2010. You've been simply delightful.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Christmas comings and goings

As promised I am back to recount the Wood Family Christmas 2010. Also, as promised, it will be neither interesting nor important, but here it is nonetheless.

(And may I interject here that had I known the Tale of the Christmas Shonkey would be such a rousing success, I would have blogged about it years ago. My apologies for holding on to that little gem for so long.)

Now, on to Christmas 2010. It consisted of:

Christmas Cards
I made mine on Shutterfly in early November. They were addressed and in the mail right after Thanksgiving and I heard from many that ours was the first card received of the season. I don't know what got into me. I was so on top of it. Not only that, but I sent out 2 different sets of cards! That's right folks, I got creative. Now, don't go gettin' hostile if you didn't receive the "special edition" card. That was for a select few. Actually, it was for my Peeps. I decided to surprise them and make a card with pictures from all of our past Christmas parties. I'm quite proud of it so I'll give everybody a little peek.
This also doubled as their Christmas present from me so, in case any of them are still waiting for that to be delivered let them now be informed: It was delivered. By your friendly postman. Open and enjoy. You're welcome.

Also, please note that none of my Peeps received the snowy version. They're not THAT special. I had to laugh when one person who did receive that card asked when our family had visited the slopes in Colorado. If by "the slopes of Colorado" you mean "the giant hill at Thompson Station Park", then last February.

Christmas Programs
Oh we had plenty of these to go around. There was the Preschool program at school which I was in charge of. Then there was Ocho's program at school where she was not only lending her vocal talents but her newly acquired recorder talents as well. (I'll admit every year I stifle my giggles at the atrocious sound of a mass of kids playing these squeaky plastic pipes. But it's different when it's your kid. This year I giggled out loud).
Then there was The Ocho's church program (which was awesome by the way. TSC knows a thing or two about children's choir performances). Finally, when Ocho was done with all of her Christmas merriment it was my turn.

Our adult choir starts working on Christmas music in early September. By the time December rolls around I'm soooooo over Christmas music. But because our choir is all kinds of awesome, I always look forward to our Sunday night performance. This year we worked really, really hard and could tell God was all over it. We had 3 full rehearsals the week leading up to it and then a sound check rehearsal on that Sunday afternoon. That's when the snow started to fall. And then it continued to fall. And then our concert got postponed for a week. If you know anything about me at all you know I like to check things off my to-do list. And I was so very ready to check this one off. But it would have to wait one more week. And it tortured me.

But it eventually happened and it was just as wonderful as God promised it would be.

Christmas Parties
Oh we are a partying bunch here at the Wood house. We had a Sunday School class party, Lydia's school class party, my elementary faculty party, the joint faculty party, the Wood family get-together party and our adult Sunday School class party (which Handiman attended without me because I was at a choir rehearsal). And would you believe that there was actually another party that I had to skip? Seriously. Too. Many. Parties.

And just for kicks, Lydia had a piano recital right smack in the middle of Partymania Week. Because what I needed was one more thing to do.
At the end of the week it was time to host our annual Peep Party. This year we all wore "festive" holiday sweaters, played Minute to Win It games and had our usual rowdy Dirty Santa game. No matter how much life December has sucked out of me, by the time this party rolls around these people always put the Merry back in my Christmas. I do love them so. And that is why they get their own Christmas Card.
Christmas Traditions
The week before Christmas everything usually settles down and we can get down to the family stuff. We took our usual tour of the Opryland Hotel to see the spectacle but this year it was especially significant since the entire hotel was flooded back in May. The renovations were amazing.
We took my Mom along this year and added a little extra something by finally attending The Rockettes Show at the Grand Ole Opry. I've always heard it's amazing. I heard right. The living nativity at the end is absolutely the most Christ glorifying thing I saw all season long.

This year we opted out of our usual Nashville neighborhood tours and decided to stick close to home. And we're so glad we did. We all fueled up on the essentials before taking the grand tour of The Hill.
It turns out our little town can bring it when it comes to holiday decorating. And in all my years of touring the big city, nobody has ever had a Festivus Pole. (Thanks for the tip Dodd family!)
On Christmas Eve we baked and decorated our cookies. As The Ocho gets older, she's getting a little more competitive with her father. At one point she was almost in tears because his looked better than hers. I told her "THERE'S NO CRYING IN COOKIE DECORATING SO GET OVER IT!" Then I made her this.
Christmas Presents
First stop on The Ocho's tour of Excessive Present Accumulation is Grandma's house. Here she picked up some earrings (Oh man! I never blogged about her getting her ears pierced did I? Gee Wiz I'm a loser. I'll come back to it. I promise!), some cool boots, an American Girl outfit for Kit, a Taylor Swift CD, and various other things. She didn't really care though. She just wanted to play with Alex.
On Christmas morning Santa had left a few things including the highly anticipated Ruthie!
She got a few things from Mommy & Daddy as well including this Wizard of Oz jewelry box.
I was way more excited about this that she was. But only because I'd tried to order it before her birthday 2 different times and it kept getting back ordered. Then I ordered it for Christmas back in November and it didn't arrive until December 23rd. So yeah, I was happy to see it.

On Christmas afternoon, we headed to Grandmommy's house where there were even MORE presents including this super-cool Justice snuggie.
Christmas Complaints
It snowed on Christmas Day which may sound like an odd complaint. But I was disappointed since I had visions of sledding and snowmen and it barely dusted the ground. And then there was Handiman who started getting a cold on Christmas Eve and spent the next 4 days in bed missing all of our family free time. (Did you ladies hear me? I had a sick husband during Christmas? I know you're feelin' my pain). And then there was the elementary methods course work I had to finish along with the 6 session DVD on the Philosophy of Christian Education, the 5 books of required reading and 6 page paper I have to complete during my time off from school in order to renew my temporary teaching certificate. And did I mention that I received so much candy during the past 4 weeks that I almost HATE the sight of chocolate? Can you even imagine?

So, that was Christmas 2010 at our house. I am now ready for my long winter's nap.

The tale of the Christmas Shonkey

I'm a terrible blogger. I blame it on lack of material and lack of motivation. In putting together my end of the year video over the past couple of days I discovered that I relied pretty heavily on this blog in the past to remember all that had transpired. This year my documentation is sparse and it's caused me to regret my lazy blogging.


That doesn't mean I'm suddenly full of material or motivation. I do however fully intend to be back here in a couple of days to recount our Christmas holiday. Not because it was spectacular and will make interesting reading but because if I don't I will be left wondering next December what in the world we did.


To ease myself back into the blogging habit, I decided to reach back into the Wood family archives and tell a story that has never been shared on this forum before. It will go down in history, however, as one of our greatest Christmas memories of all time. And it's all thanks to a friend who has no idea the blessing she gave to our family all those many Christmases ago. If you've ever read Max Lucado's "The Crippled Lamb" (my all time favorite Christmas book by the way) then you should know that this story has a lot in common with that story. First, it's about an animal in the stable who suffered a disability. Second, it's the story of how God always has a plan even when we can't see it. Third, it always makes me cry. Although, I usually cry for different reasons. This is the story of "The Christmas Shonkey". Enjoy.


Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived a charmed life. She was 4 years old with golden hair and sparkling blue eyes. On Sunday nights in December her parents would take her to church to be a part of a preschool choir. There she would learn songs about the birth of baby Jesus and play with her friends. She looked forward with great anticipation to the night when her special role in the play would be revealed.


When the announcement was finally made, she was so excited to present her Mommy with the paper that held her part. She would be a donkey in the stable! Oh sure, her best friend Abigail would be Mary, the mother of Jesus and most blessed among women. And her friend Kaitlyn would be a white & woolly sheep. But she and her buddy Baylor would be donkeys! And all that was required was a gray sweatsuit from Wal-Mart. This part made her Mommy very happy since it would require no crafting or sewing of any kind.


So the little girl worked tirelessly for months preparing for her role. And when the big night arrived she donned her gray Wal-Mart sweatsuit with pride and headed to church where she would be fitted with the final piece, the donkey's head.


Then it happened. A Christmas tragedy that to this day she has never fully recovered from.


One of her choir teachers realized that all the donkey heads were taken! All that were left were sheep heads! Reluctantly, the little girl put on the head of a sheep while wearing the body of a donkey and faced her audience in shame.


For who could ever learn to love a Shonkey?


It took years for her to discuss that fateful night with her parents. When she finally agreed to open her heart to them regarding the matter she simply stated "It was the MOST embarrassing moment of my life! I was HUMILIATED!!"


Of course, her parents, being the kind, merciful and understanding people that they are laughed their ever lovin' heads off at her. Not just at the ridiculous notion that nothing more humiliating would ever happen to her or that a 4 year old even knew what humiliation was. No. They laughed because they knew that for the rest of her life, every Christmas, they would display the picture of "Ocho the Christmas Shonkey" and giggle.


They also explained to her what a perfect example it was of God's love and acceptance. After all, none of us are what God had intended for us to be. And none of us are all that we want to be. But God can use a shonkey in His stable to bring joy to all who will allow Him to. And God has a special place for those who feel left out of getting a donkey head.


Oh, who are we kidding. There's no spiritual lesson here. We just think the shonkey is stinkin' hilarious.


*It was only when I put the picture out as we were decorating for Christmas this year that Ocho revealed the identity of the choir teacher who created the shonkey and therefore gave our family a memory to treasure forever. Thank you Tonya Dodd. We appreciate it more than you'll ever know. : )

(And before you ask, no I don't know who the poor little girl dressed in green with a sheep's head is. Although, whenever the Ocho complains about me showing this picture, I point out that being a shonkey is way better that being a frog with a sheep's head. I mean, a shog? That's just tragic.)

Less Bitter, More Sweet

When your smack-dab in the middle of grief it's impossible to comprehend a day when it won't overwhelm you. But eventually the days become easier. Not all of them, but most of them. Five years ago I couldn't have imagined what November 8th would look like today. I would have probably guessed it to be sadder than it was, not nearly as sunny and warm and a little lonelier.

From the moment our family tragedy took hold we were overwhelmed with people pouring themselves out for us. You'd think after 5 years it would subside. Maybe it does if you're not a part of God's family. But we are and our family hasn't forgotten us. For that reason the sad moments and the joyful ones seemed to come in equal doses yesterday.

It started with a surprise visit from Pastor Eric. He came by to deliver cards and a bag full of chocolate (the perfect cure for any ailment) from his sweet family. He spent a little time talking with Dave & I and then prayed the most beautiful prayer over us. (For the record, Beth wins the funniest card of the day award. Thanks for giving me a good laugh right when I needed one.) It was a little bitter mixed with a little sweet.

Next came a short trip to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital where I dropped of something for a little girl named Alli. Her parents are members of our church and almost 2 weeks ago she was diagnosed with leukemia. Our family decided this year's Rainbow would be in her honor. We are praying for her complete recovery and we ask you to pray with us. At one point I took a wrong turn and ended up in the pediatric oncology waiting room, a huge room full of children with cancer and their parents. It didn't take long to feel blessed beyond measure that I wasn't one of the Moms sitting there. A little bitter mixed with a little sweet.

After that, I was off to lunch with Robyn. Every year she takes me to lunch at Panera Bread around this time. As I was waiting for her I stood outside chatting on the phone with Nicole and basking in the warm sunshine. Such a beautiful day for November. Again I was reminded of His tender mercy towards me. Such sweet friends. Such a pretty day. It was a lot of sweet.

After lunch I had about an hour to kill before picking up The Ocho so I decided to go home and "soak in the grief". It may sound a little morbid but it really helps me every year to allow myself time to cry and remember who she was. I watched the home movies we made at the hospital and went through the the box that holds all of her things; her hospital gown, her stuffed elephant, her blanket, her pretty blue dress. I read through the names of those who attended her memorial. I looked at her birth certificate, her footprints, her I.D. bracelet, the ziploc bag that holds her locks of hair. And I wept right there on the floor in the closet. Because I wanted to. Because I needed to. And I knew Jesus was sitting right there with me. It was alot of bitter but still a little sweet.

After picking up Lydia from school we headed to the cemetery to say a prayer, sing Happy Birthday and watch our balloons fly up to heaven. We visited little Elisha's grave and found Maria Chapman's. So many sweet babies in heaven. So many grieving Mommy's on this earth. A little bitter mixed with a lot of sweet.

When we got home I found a gift bag filled with homemade cookies and a card from a friend who never, ever forgets us on this day. She could easily let the day pass with no acknowledgement but I know she never will. And her words, her prayers, her remembrance mean more to me than she'll ever know. She knows who she is. She's a lot of sweet.

As I recounted the day, read all the emails and cards we'd received, listened to all the phone messages and tallied up all the Facebook comments I'd accumulated (33 at last count) I realized that 5 years later people are still pouring themselves out for us. God is being glorified and our hearts are healing. If you took time to pray for us it was not wasted. God gave us a good day. Less bitter, more sweet.

A Sister's Heart