I spent this past weekend at the Deeper Still Conference in Nashville. I went with a group from church to hear 3 amazing Bible teachers; Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore & Kay Arthur. We experienced authentic and life-changing worship with Travis Cottrell and Anthony Evans and there was even a surprise appearance by Mandisa! I have attended many of Beth's Living Proof Live events in the past and always come away with greater insight and a real intention to change my life but I always seem to fall back into the same old rut. This time, though, it feels different. Maybe because for the first time I really felt God get in my face. Before, it was more like watching him in concert. I was sharing an experience with a bunch of other people. This time it got real personal real fast. I was challenged almost immediately when Beth said I needed to "get over my devastation with God". I guess He didn't feel like beating around the bush.
I feel as though for the first time in a long time God's word doesn't scare me. Since losing our daughter, scripture has been unbearably painful to read, much less apply. I can't really explain it. That's just the way it's been. Each teacher this weekend really held my feet to the fire and caused me to take a good look at myself and my relationship with Christ. Mandisa sang a song call "God Speaking" that slayed me. I've listened to it at least 10 times over the last 48 hours and every time it takes me right into His presence.
After long sessions with each speaker the heaviness seemed to lessen when the 3 ladies took to the stage for a Q&A session. It was truly one of the most hysterical things I've ever seen. Sorry I can't elaborate but it was one of those "you had to be there" moments. In the midst of it, though, I was challenged again with something....humility. Beth said that God gives us moments in every day to embrace humility and we can choose whether or not to obey him. It's an area I'm really struggling to conquer so my earnest prayer became that I would recognize those moments and embrace them whole-heartedly. That brings me to the box. Let me explain.
Dave finished our beautiful built-in entertainment center weeks ago but I haven't gotten around to filling all the cubbies with anything. Lydia decided last night that she would take that task on herself. There are 8 "boxes" and she decided she would decorate one for Daddy, one for me and the other 6 for herself. Of course.
I didn't really take notice to what she was putting in the shelves until I went to clean the room today. That's when Dave & I saw what our daughter really thinks of us. Tonight we inquired about why she chose those items.
His box included a book because he reads to her every night, a paint sample color selector because he paints things, a box of candy because he eats junk and a remote control because he watches TV all the time. Yes. I laughed out loud at our daughter's impressions of her father.
Then she got to me. Mine included pot, pans and utensils because I cook and wash dishes all the time, a cell phone because I talk all the time and toy food because I like to eat.
It's a humbling experience my friends to look inside but I'm curious. What's in your box?
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