Killing me softly

You remember that Roberta Flack song? The one where she's in some nightclub and the guy starts strumming her pain with his fingers? And singing her life with his song? Of course you do. And don't give me any of that "before my time" jazz cause there's not an oldie's station worth it's weight in Beatles songs that doesn't have it on heavy rotation.

Anywhoo.

Yesterday Mandisa became my Roberta Flack. And she was KILLING ME. Softly.

Allow me to explain.

It all started when I opened up my friend Melissa's BLOG to read about the song that her friend Ronnie Freeman and Mandisa had written based on Melissa's experience with her son Elisha. Since our experiences are similar, I knew better than to watch that music video at 5:45 in the morning. But I did it anyway. And it killed me. Softly.

Then I watched it again on my lunch break. And it killed me again. Softly.

Then I got home and downloaded the entire CD and played it in my car on the way to the softball field. And I came to the realization that it wasn't just one song that was going to be the death of me. It was all of them.

You see, I hear God's voice in all the usual places; prayer, the Bible, sermons, Beth Moore videos and congregated worship. But I tend to hear Him better, more clearly, through music. I suppose it's my love language. And last night, Mandisa was the vessel He used to speak. Softly.

"He is with you when your baby’s gone and your house is still, and your heart’s a stone. Cryin' God, what’d You do that for?' He is with you"

"I was so helpless. Where did the light go? I had no hope left deep down in my soul. I was watching. I was waiting. I was praying. I was staying down on my knees. That's right where You found me"

"When all that I can sing is a broken hallelujah. When my only offering
Is shattered praise. Still a song of adoration will rise up from these ruins. I will worship You and give You thanks. Even when my only praise is a broken hallelujah"

Song after song told my story. Spoke my heart. Took my breath away.

And then, just when I was ready to toss it out the window for some sweet relief came Track 11. And the tears poured like rain. And it was OK.

I couldn't find a music video but I did find this on YouTube. I'm pretty sure this song will forever be the one that comforts me and kills me all at the same time. Softly.