When Google gets the best of you

The year was 1988. George Bush Sr. was elected President, Prozac went public, Pan Am 747 exploded and crashed in Lockerbie, Scotland, The Redskins won the Superbowl and I was the reigning Miss Judson College. I seemed to have all that a girl could dream about. I was a Junior with my sites set on that all important Senior year. I had good friends, reasonably passable grades and I was dating a handsome Italian from the nearby Military Academy. Since Judson is an all women's college, the Military Academy was my only hope of scoring a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure it was in the student handbook that you had to date at least one before graduation. I was just fulfilling my obligation.

I cannot for the life of me remember how I met him or even where we went on our dates. I don't recall our conversations or any meaningful thing we ever did together. What I do know was I was in luuuvvvvvv. You know the kind. The 19-year-old-can't-eat-can't-sleep-dream-about-him-all-the-time-wonder-what-he's-doing-can't-live-without-him-love. It had a lot to do with the fact that he was only the 3rd guy I'd ever really gone out with and did I mention he was cute? And he was Italian? And his name was Giovanni? Seriously. His name was Giovanni. He rode a motorcycle and lived in California. What more does a girl need?

At the time I thought he was God's gift to mankind. Unfortunately, so did he. I couldn't see it at the time because of the aforementioned luuuvvvvv I was in, but my friends could see it. A few of them are probably reading this and getting a pretty good laugh from the memory of my pathetic devotion to this weasel....I mean guy. You see the problem with Giovanni was that he had just broken up with someone that he unfortunately was still dating behind my back. She was a freshman and supposedly my friend. She had plans to enter the Miss Judson pageant that year and had promptly decided to be my BFF. She was all cute and perky with her long black hair and her tight clothes and her straight out of Star Search tap dance routine. I was a little backwoods and naive so the thought of her stabbing me in the back honestly never occurred to me. Until it happened. Those are the times I remember like they were yesterday. There's nothing quite like your first real heartbreak. I had never cried like that, never knew you could feel that bad. As funny as it seems now, at the time it was devastation like nothing I thought was possible.

A month of so later, she won the Miss Judson Pageant and I had to crown her. I was so humiliated. Everyone in school knew about the little Young and the Restless episode we had going on. It had to be kinda fun to watch it from a distance but to be a starring player was the pits. She actually ended up leaving our school the next year and he graduated from the Military Academy. I heard rumors the following year that they got married and moved back to California but I was never really sure. Time passed and life went on. I eventually left my memories of The Italian Stallion behind. I moved to Tennessee, met a wonderful man, got married. You know the rest of the story. This brings me to last week.

Sometimes when I get bored and can't find anything to read or watch on TV and doing chores is just out of the question I play a little game. I call it the Google game. I sit at my computer and Google random names. Odds are if you're my friend I've Googled you. Don't be afraid. So far, I haven't turned up anything too terribly incriminating on anyone. If I had you would have already read about it here. Just kidding.

Anyway, I was typing away using the names of Judson friends I haven't seen in years. Then a name popped into my head that I haven't thought of in at least 15 years. On a whim I typed her first name, his last name and California. There it was. Right before my eyes. Their "family journal". I sat here for a good 30 seconds with my mouth hanging wide open afraid to hit the button. I couldn't believe it was that easy. Then I was faced with the question, do you really want to know? What if they're cute and happy and rich and successful and awesome and wonderful??? Then I realized there was a chance she had gained about 200 pounds, lived in a trailer park and had an arrest record. Now that would be kinda awesome, wouldn't it? Don't judge me. You all knew a girl like this when you were young. You'd be wishing the same thing. Don't worry. None of it happened quite like that.

I clicked the link and there they were. Cute. Happy. Rich. Successful. All of my worst fears. There were pictures of their kids who were also cute and happy. They have a beautiful house in southern California with a vanishing edge pool. There were pictures of them biking up the San Francisco coast and vacationing in Vegas with friends. There were pictures of her in Jamaica....in a bikini. Don't even get me started about that. She also doesn't look a day over 25. That in and of itself was enough to make me wanna down a gallon of mint chocolate chip. The Italian Stallion, however, looked old. I enjoyed that much at least.

Now, don't go thinking I got all jealous and angry. I didn't. The only thing I really envied out of the whole deal was the vanishing edge pool. That looked like all kinds of awesome. The rest I could care less about. If I had it to do all over again, I'd never give the guy a second look. If you're a frequent reader here you know how much I love my family. As husbands go, I got the best one out there. As kids go, they don't get much cuter or happier than mine. As lives go, I've got zero complaints.

My message to you is this. Google is a dangerous place. Don't go searching for your past unless you're prepared to handle the cold, hard truth. I'm actually kind of glad things turned out well for the two of them. No, really. I am. Would I be happier if she was 200 pounds heavier with outstanding warrants in 7 states? Of course I would.