While I was away

I've covered much territory since we last spoke and I simply don't have the time or the energy to recap it all here. Well, that's not completely true. I have plenty of time. Because it's Labor Day Weekend. And since I am indeed a laborer this year, I intend to take the holiday very seriously. By doing nothing.

This means that I won't waste precious holiday minutes typing pointless tirades about how Handiman won't cut the grass and Little Ocho can remember every vivid detail of a hot air balloon ride she took when she was two but still can't seem to remember to turn off that stinking closet light of hers every single solitary day. Nope. I don't have time for any of that. So I'll make this brief and just give bullet points on what the last week of my life has included, starting with last weekend. Ready? Here you go:

• Spent last Friday night and Saturday on the Davis houseboat with my Peeps.
• Learned to play "Pit".
• Said a prayer of thanks that Big Nanny couldn't make the trip and therefore I learned to play "Pit" without her angry and disturbing outbursts during competition.
• Returned home on Sunday with a fever, soar throat and monumental headache.
• Woke up Monday morning with The Black Plague and went to work anyway. Came home and went to bed at 9:00pm.
• Woke up Tuesday morning with The Black Plague Part II and went to work anyway. Came home and went to bed around 8:45 pm.
• Woke up Wednesday with The Black Plague III and as a bonus, laryngitis. Went to work then came home and coughed myself to sleep around 8:30 pm.
• I don't remember waking up Thursday (due to the Black Plague) but I guess I did because I found myself at work. Again with laryngitis. Came home, downed some NyQuil and coughed myself to sleep around 8:15 pm.
• Woke up Friday talking like James Earl Jones and thanking my Father in heaven for strategically planning to have The Black Plague coincide with a three-day weekend. Sweet Mercy.
• Friday night I put Handiman and Little Ocho in the car and sent them to the lake. I piled up in the recliner with some throat lozenges and "The Notebook" on DVD. Took NyQuil and coughed myself to sleep. This time at the more respectable hour of 10:00pm. Thank you very much.
• Today has been one of glorious bliss. I have been alone in my house. I have taken naps, watched TV and caught up on all the news I've been missing while in a state of illness and drugged-induced confusion. Now, I am all caught up on Obama's speech (I didn't actually see it but I found out all i needed to know here) McCain's VP choice (I truly did not see that coming and I'm not sure how I feel yet), Hurricane Gustav (This looks scary and I hope my friend Suellen and her family are OK. They were hit hard by Katrina. I'm praying for you Sue!) and the new episode of The Hills (Spencer wants to make Steph his un-sister? Seriously, Seinfeld wishes he was as funny as these people. Sadly, they're not trying to be funny)

Now that I'm on the mend I'm finally ready to jump back into posting. And so, my fellow Americans, I make a vow to you this day. That I will post every day for the next week, even if it is only to tell you I don't have anything to post. Now, I've got to go take some NyQuil. It's almost my bedtime.