The Office: Sometimes the ends justify the mean

I have been an Office update slacker. And while many of you may not care, I've certainly missed it.

It hasn't been because I don't watch anymore or because I can't find anything funny to talk about. No Way!

And it hasn't been a silent protest because they took Holly Flax away from Michael. Although, that might not have been a bad idea.

Nope. I've just been lazy. But all that is over. Because Toby Flenderson is back! And the next best thing to Michael Scott and his true love is Michael Scott and his arch nemesis. Here's what I loved:

Michael texting 911, Pam's holier than thou microwave sign, Michael's $500 Caprice salad, everyone baiting Toby to punch Michael in the face, Dwight's "anonymous tip", Creed & the cops, Ryan breaking up with Kelly, Michael's "brilliant" acting job, Dwight's perfect crime, the clown picture and of course....

He bought her a house......sigh...... They kill me.

Now on to the quotes:

Dwight: Brownies is it? Hmph. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat. No thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
Jim: So why'd you come in here?
Dwight: To socialize. And inform.

David: I don't understand. Is anyone hurt?
Michael: Not on the surface, no. But I can tell people are disturbed, David.

Michael: That's true. People say it's icky.

Michael: Is there no way we can get rid of him?
David: Not without cause, Michael!
Michael: I have cause! It is be-caause I hate him!


Andy: Uhhh. No, I was just walking by your desk, saw some email. I got peepers of an eagle.

Michael: You wanna see some real high-caliber acting? Well, Mr. Kurt Russell, you are about to be served.

Dwight: Oh it's a good day too; I'm wearing my mustard shirt.

Michael: I tried. I tried! I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend... But that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail. I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel like Neve Campbell in Scream 2. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy... And then, the murderer comes back. Starts killing off all of her friends. Learned a lot of lessons from that movie. This is just one of them.

Jim: I mean you can't blame my parents it was the seventies. Why would you wanna buy ugly wood from trees... when you could have paneling. And a painting of some creepy clowns, that is apparently crucial to the structural integrity of the building.

Dwight: Oh I've framed animals before. I framed a raccoon for opening a Christmas present. And I framed a bear for eating out of the garbage.

Jim: I am really sorry about this. I tried to move it but, she is really nailed in there. Worried about art theft I guess. A lot of art thieves in this neighborhood.

Creed: Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.

Ryan: It's not that kind of trip. I'm going to Thailand with some friends from high school. Well, a high school.

Michael: Welcome back jerky, jerk face.

Pam: Oh. Do we have to sleep in your parents' bedroom?
Jim: No. No we'll just board that up. It'll be that weird spare room that people ask us about.
Pam: And the clown?
Jim: Yeah I really can't move him.

Dwight: It's her father's business. She's Tiffany.