When You've Got it, You've Got It

I've obviously got it. Well, 3 out of 4 of it anyway. Last night we said goodbye to Garrett, Joanne, Amy & Colton. I didn't predict Colton but I wasn't exactly surprised or heartbroken. Nobody wants to watch Ellen DeGeneres sing "Suspicious Minds". Can I get a witness?

I will confess here and now that I didn't exactly watch the entire show. I had every intention of doing so but about 35 seconds into the horrific group song, I started twitching and had to turn the channel. What exactly is the point of that? Some of them completely deserved to be humiliated in front of millions of people and probably enjoyed it in some twisted way but David Archuleta & Michael Johns should not be forced to participate. I just keep reminding myself that Carrie Underwood & Chris Daughtry did it and they turned out OK. Poor babies.

The only thing worse is when they force the newly ousted contestant to sing the song that they stunk so bad at the night before. For the record, I also turned the channel for all of those songs too. I watched the eliminations and Paula's video premier. That was all I could stomach.

Now, about Paula. Sweet, crazy, medicated Paula. I was the proud owner of "Forever Your Girl" back in the day. To this day I will stop on a radio station playing "Straight Up" or "Cold Hearted Snake". Girlfriend was never a great singer but she picked great songs and she could dance like nobody's business. Last night, I was nervous beyond belief when I heard she was debuting her video in front of the 25 millions people, not to mention Simon. I'd already heard the song and I knew it was catchy but something was telling me this is not a good idea. I give the old lady props for daring to do it but I felt bad when it was obvious she can't really move anymore either. I'm just not sure how today's generation will take crazy old Paula trying to hang with the likes of Beyonce and Rhianna. It's embarrassing and I wish it would stop. That's all I have to say about that.

Fortunately, after all the cheesetastic performances and tearful goodbyes, I had "Lost" to look forward to. It gave me a reason to persevere and it was worth it. My mind was so sufficiently blown during last night's episode it helped me forget how ridiculous Garrett looked in that hat.

Seriously. Why does Kate have Aaron? What's with Jack lying about the crash? What happened to Sayid & Desmond? Where did Ben get all that money? How scary was Locke with that grenade? As creepy as it all was, it was nothing compared to Paula's music video. And we know that at least 6 survived the island. I predict no survivors in Paula's comeback.