The Lament of the Whining Woods

Poor Handiman. The past few weeks have been a little rough for him. He's taken a full-time job with a remodeler in an effort to keep our family afloat. It seems that when you are a self-employed home builder and the housing market takes a nose dive, it becomes difficult to make money. Lesson learned. Of course, it doesn't help that the tax man came calling, his allergies struck with a vengeance and his wife has been whining a little (non-stop) about all her job interviews. And then a bird pooped on him at Ocho's softball game Tuesday night. Way to kick a man when he's down.

He found it not the least bit funny when he was informed last night that he would be teaching our Sunday School class this week. Here's the opening line of the lesson: "What do you do when you find yourself between a rock and a hard place? At some point in our lives, most of us have felt as if we were held tightly in a vice, with its jaws relentlessly closing on us. Some of us are there now, hoping for freedom from unrelenting difficulty." Ya think?

We had a little chuckle over that this morning. But only a little one. The truth is we're both tired of the lesson learning and we'd like it to stop. Right now. But that's just not how God works. He prefers to put us in places where we're uncomfortable, give us things to do that are awkward and painful and allow us the freedom to either trust Him or wallow in self-pity and falter. I'll confess I've been doing more of the latter lately. Our family is facing some challenges and it's not the laughfest it once was. I don't mean to cause panic. There's no divorce pending, no health crisis, no foreclosure in the works (at least not yet). We're just walking through yet another valley we didn't see coming and quite frankly, it stinks.

Having said all that, it really does help put things into perspective and realize that it could be worse. We could be without our parents who have been so generous to help us through this time. We could be without our friends who are so faithful to pray and offer encouragement. We could be without food, without shelter, without hope.

We could be without Jesus. But I know we're not and we never will be and that leads to the unfortunate result of taking Him and His blessings for granted. I really need to stop that.

Pretty soon, I'll be working full-time again. I'll be one of the bazillion women in the world trying to balance home, work, church, family and friends. Allow me to state the obvious and say I'm not projecting a very good attitude about all of it. I mean, this is not at all how I saw my life going. The way I see it, we're supposed to have 2 children, a successful business, a beautiful home and a trip to the beach every year by now. But that's not how God sees it, and I'm trying to come to terms with that. I know this is just a season of life and I'd like to believe that in a couple of years things will be better. Of course, that's what I thought a couple of years ago. You see my dilemma?

So, why have I chosen to ramble on and on and whine and complain to the point that you're all thinking "Girlfriend, you need to seriously get a grip. There are people with cancer in the world. Get over yourself!"??? Because, given my tendency to withdraw when life gets tough, I may not post here very often. At least not about things other than those topics that require no emotion or transparency on my part like The Office and American Idol. I wanted you to know why. It's not you, it's me.

I'm sorry if this has made me seem like a selfish, pitiful mess, but I guess that's what I am. God knows my heart. He knows I trust Him even when I question Him. He knows I believe His Word is true and His love for me is enough. He knows I'll ask for forgiveness and I know He'll give it to me. He knows the plans He has for me. He's going to give me a future and a hope. And I'll take it.