Thank God I'm A Country Girl

I will forever be grateful for my time in North Carolina for many reasons, not the least of which is the stark reminder I got of just how good the Wood life is.

I get to wake up everyday in a town that looks a lot like Mayberry (if Mayberry had a Super Target) and hang around with the sweetest, most genuine folks on planet earth; Southerners. And as if those blessings were abundant enough, I get to have things like grits and biscuits & gravy at my disposal on any given day thanks to that wonderful institution of ministry known as Cracker Barrel. I assure you I will never take these things for granted again because I have come face to face with one who just 7 days ago had never been privy to such glorious wonders. Her name is Joanne and she is faced with doing the unthinkable; living in California.
She made her first pilgrimage last Thursday to the holy land that is the Southern United States. It was then that she discovered the joy of things like sweet tea and red velvet cake for the very first time. Can you believe an American woman could survive over 30 years and never taste of these riches? Neither can I. Neither could she.

I was surprised to find that in almost every way we were kindred spirits. We had the same sense of humor, the same outlook on church, family and politics and even had some very similar life experiences. She was funny, warm, sweet and encouraging, everything a true southern lady should be. As it turns out she desperately wants to be a southern lady but that pesky accent and home address are standing in the way.

Nothing swayed her allegiance to these Red States more than the food. She confessed that she took more pictures of our meals than she took of the people (you can find her culinary discoveries well documented here) and it brought tears to my eyes to see somebody filled with such joy over a yeast roll.

She'd never had a yeast roll y'all! These things ought not to be.

It was during one of our late night discussions that I had to break it to her that despite her sweet disposition she was indeed still a yankee. She couldn't help it I know but sometimes the truth hurts. I think I gave her a little hope when I explained the different classes of yankees and how some are worse than others. The worst as any true southerner knows is the Florida yankee, because while technically from the south, most of them act like they're from New Jersey and that's unacceptable and thus unforgivable. Very few can be redeemed and it takes a long, long time.

I'm pretty sure I didn't make her feel any better when I started bragging about my friend Trisha's Sunday dinner's complete with fried chicken, mashed potatoes & strawberry cake all cooked in the grand tradition of Paula Deen. I think Joanne was under the impression that Paula Deen was just a fictional TV character and nobody actually cooked food like that. She was sadly mistaken.

Then I had start dropping names. See, I don't just live in the south. I live near Nashville, which means I get to see people like Faith Hill at the mall and Garth Brooks at Kroger. When we got on the subject of church I happened to mention Travis Cottrell sometimes sings in my choir. This brought up the subject of Beth Moore and that is when she made the most startling revelation of them all. (You might want to sit down for this) Her church doesn't advocate Beth Moore Bible studies, which understandably upsets her. NO BETH MOORE????? Inconceivable. That coupled with the whole unsweetened tea thing sent me over the edge. How can any Christian woman be expected to live in such a place?

All we can do at this point is pray for deliverance for Joanne and her family, bless their sweet hearts. That, of course, is southern for "those poor, sad yankees don't stand a chance."